Language Limbo

As I continue to prepare for my full  transition from life in northeastern China back to the states, I find myself facing the same exact trouble that I had all the previous times that I visited home; a severely atrophied ability to speak my native language properly. It's the all-too-common paradox that every  foreign ESL teacher here ends up facing after some time. We are hired and brought over as "Foreign Experts", yet the longer we stay here, the further we lose our ability to handle the specific language expertise that allows us to work here in the very first place.

I know for sure that I at least can't speak quite as well or use as many complex words as I used to. More and more frequently, I find myself in instances where I'll be having a long-distance chat with someone from home, and I'll find myself  mentally stumbling, and trying in vain to search for words that I thought I knew, but now appears to be locked away in some unknown closet in my mind due to disuse. Or, I'll be writing an email and I'll simply find myself unable to churn out the words as fluidly as I once did.

Linguistically-speaking I've now reached a point where whenever I find time to do some casual reading, the whole experience ends up turning into a massive nostalia trip. I can't even get through an entire page without encountering a words or expression that will make me pause and think, "Oh....oh hey, I remember when I used to say that."

I'm hoping that once back on my native soil, it will be nothing more than a matter of time before I can rebuild my vocabulary and speaking skills. However, between my weakened English and still only basic Chinese, as of now I'm still not feeling all too fluent in any tongue at the present. Methinks that right now, a purchase of Sesame Street DVDs may be a wise future investment on my part. 

Comments

[Jenn]

geoff! i can relate to your "language limbo" problem so much..i just got home right yesterday to visit my family for a month and more than a few times today i caught myself stopping and saying "what's that word in english, oh yea..." and then continuing..best of luck as you finish up your time in china!

[Jenn]

i definitely made a mistake even in that post..woops! sesame street it is...